Final thoughts.......

It has been over two weeks since I have returned from Sudan.  Everyone seems to ask me the same question….do I miss it?  Very much so.  It was my home for the last year no matter what the condition or situation was like.  I had my “family” there…..my fellow Canadian brothers and my co-workers.  We had to look out for each other.  You are so isolated due to the restriction of movement.  I always felt like I was imprisoned when I would look out over the Hesco Bastion walls and through the concertina wire that surrounded the camps that we would live and work in.  The local people would always be looking in at us like we are the caged animals pacing back and forth.  That is why I always enjoyed the drive from Super Camp to Zam Zam.  It gave me a chance to see more of Darfur then what you can see from behind a fence.  You would always find women and children around the perimeter of the UNAMID compounds in hopes that one of the military soldiers or police advisors would give them “yum yum” (food) or one pound (which works out to approximately 33 cents). You could look into their eyes and see that the men, women and children knew nothing other than what they have been taught by their families and community.  They knew no other world except what they live and survive in day in and day out. 

You want to be able to help everyone you see around you but you can’t. You feel helpless and wonder if your presence in the mission has really made a difference.  I have learned in my police career that I cannot save the world but if I can change one person’s life then I have succeeded. I reflect on this past year and I can honestly say to myself that I have made a difference no matter how big or small it might be.  I know that the Canadians that were in Darfur have given hope to the leaders and children of the El Fasher Boy Scouts and Girl Guides.  It’s hard to imagine that some of these children were being recruited into militia groups and factions in their country.  I am happy to say that the Canadian Military are continuing to volunteer their time with Guides and Scouts and will be providing the children with their very own uniforms.  These uniforms will be made by a local tailor in El Fasher so it aids in the economy of Darfur.  How great is that? The children will be so ecstatic when they get to put on their own uniform and wear it with pride.  I just wish I could be there to see it. 



After a long journey I arrived safely home in Calgary



What do I miss the most? I can’t tell you how much I miss the children and their smiling faces.  I will never forget some of the girls that used to climb the trees around the community center just so they could pick the limes and give it to me as a gift.  One little girl literally filled my cargo pant pockets with limes…..I guess she wanted to make sure I would not go without.  Still to this day it fascinates me how the women and children work so hard and travel for miles on end to gather water and firewood for their families. I constantly think about all the people that I have met this last year. They have taught me so much about their culture and their country. I seriously believe I am taking more away from this mission then what I was able to offer the people. 

Am I happy to be home?  Of course I am.  It has been wonderful to reunite with my family and friends.  I have to be honest that it is taking some time for me to adjust and adapt to my surroundings.  I feel as if I need to get my bearings again.  Coming from an undeveloped country back into society who has everything can be overwhelming.  I have no regrets on going on a Peacekeeping Mission.  It was an opportunity and experience of a lifetime. I have grown as a person as will never forget this chapter in my life. 

When I returned back to Canada I was given an opportunity to travel back to Vancouver to visit my family. I was contacted by one of my high school teachers who asked if I would speak to her Grade 12 History class about my experiences overseas.  It was wonderful to go back to my old stomping grounds and to speak to students who had a vested interest in what is going on around the world.   

Presenting to my old high school

On November 10th, I was fortunate to see and hear Lt. General Romeo Dallaire speak at the CPS Diversity Conference. I had an opportunity to meet him personally and to briefly discuss my Mission.  I have to say he is a wonderful speaker and I took a lot away from his talk.  I was able to relate to him when he spoke about working in an underdeveloped country that is stricken with war, poverty, illness and famine.

Lt. General Romeo Dallaire.

Most likely this will be the last posting on my blog.  I want to thank all of you for taking this journey with me.  I would like to wish the next Canadian Police Advisors that will be going over to Darfur the best of luck and a safe mission.  I also want to wish all the other CPS Police and Canadian Military who are currently overseas in Sudan and Afghanistan a safe return home. 

“In a world filled with hate, we must still dare to hope. In a world filled with anger, we must still dare to comfort. In a world filled with despair, we must still dare to dream. And in a world filled with distrust, we must still dare to believe.” Micheal Jackson